The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Verdict: uncircumcised.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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