Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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