I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
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