At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize