May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
