he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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