OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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