They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
birth control should be required to get into college
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
