I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
