I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
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