Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
