he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
