And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize
