I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".