I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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