I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
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