We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
