ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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