her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
