I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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