sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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