i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Randomize
