he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
