The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Randomize