You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
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