Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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