literally had 100 drinks last night.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
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Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
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I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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