Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
