he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
My vagina just clenched in fear
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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