Babe...You're really smothering me right now
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it