Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.