Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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