Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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