I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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