apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Be still, my beating vagina.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
