i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
