I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
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