my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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