i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize