Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize