Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
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