I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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