Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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