had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
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We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
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exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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