talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Randomize