I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
don't judge my taste in strippers
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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