They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
