Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
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