walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
