yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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