Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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