i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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