The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
