So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
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i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
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We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
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