i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Terrible idea I love it
These tits shall not be calmed
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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