i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
